Tired!!

Been a few days since i last "blogged" and in this time i have destroyed my room... well, built some flat packs! And when i say built some flat packs, my mum actually did most of the work, so even though you are very unlikely to read this, thanks!

As for other things, they are moving along steadily I'm pleased to say... went to the gym last night and I'm still a little tired, but its a good thing i guess! Work is going well, starting to enjoy that more and more now I'm getting the hang of things, lets hope that particular upward curve is continues!

And finally My Cutie, she's doing well from what she has told me, but i can help think there is more to it than that, something she isn't telling me that's on her mind! She is VERY busy at the minute too, work, uni, work, uni etc! One day she will be mega rich and she'll see that it was all worth the effort :-)

And Finally Finally... The Manure match vs AC Milan, I've said it all day and I'll say it again... Either Man Utd Lose, or AC Milan Win, either way I'm not fussed!!!!! I would honestly rather race AC Milan that Man Utd in the Final, we obviously have to beat Chelski first, which is tomorrow night... Off to Dave/Ems for that one!!

Peace Out World

So Much To Say... I Just Kept Quiet...

Argh! I have so much to say to My Cutie... I just can't say it all!!!

So... I've said nothing at all!

Which is not what i want but i can't think what/how to express how i feel...

Maybe i should just send her the link to this blog? Maybe... but then i may look like i'm attention seeking... and now it looks like i'm writing this for her benefit! Shhh Carpy... Too much thought!

Todays Update

I've just been keeping myself busy today, i've finished some paperwork ready to send off including my passport!

I'll nip out and post them all in a bit, when its less sunny! Its so hot, i've been really tired these las few days! I could so easily fall asleep (i'm even yawning now!) but i know i'll never get to sleep tonight!

Random Thoughts Over :-)

Current Mood: Ruminating...

Today i found out that i am single once more... its an odd feeling, we have only being going out a month or so but i have known her for about two years... we are good friends and i was so pleased when we first started seeing each other as i never imagined she would like me like that!

At first things where excellent and we were moving forward very well, but then things started to happen in her life that rocked her, a lot... so much so that i dont think she is quite over them even now. Firstly i think the distance between us doesn't help as i cant be there physically to help, which is why i keep wishing i could drive already! I think My Cutie needs time to herself to focus on her and her life, i know she cant give me 100% at the minute but i still cant help feel a little sad to lose her in the way i had her!

I have been strong up to now but right now i cant honestly tell you how i feel... i feel kind of lost, empty, sad, and a bit gutted i won't be able to do the things with My Cutie that i could say a few weeks ago.

Still... I have nothing bad to say about My Cutie.

Shes such a loving person, doesn't hurt either that she is absolutley gorgeous! She looks after herself well, she has a very pretty face and i oft can't help but get lost looking at her! She has a lovely set of "features" too, especially her tush :-) but the most attractive thing about her is her personality!

She loves and actually cares about me, something which i haven't truly felt before... i know when she said things to me that she meant them. She has always been honest with me too which i appreciated. I can also say with confidence that i love her more than anyone else before, maybe i let my feelings go to far and maybe i should have stopped myself, but to be honest, I'm very much a heart on my sleeve kinda guy and if i feel it, i go with it. I know My Cutie regrets going too far, too soon as she isn't ready after coming out of a 4 year relationship and then into this with me 12 months later.

Right Girl, Wrong Time!

I say wrong time as she isn't ready to get involved with someone, or with me at least, but i know i could easily spend the rest of my life with her and when we where together i know she felt the same. I think she might just be scared, well i know that she is as she has told me, but i think she might be more scared of the unknown than she realises!

I know i am scared of the unknown, but if you don't try new things, you never move forward! Hence why i finally "got some balls" and decided to stop being a big scaredy cat and actually move out of my comfort zone by moving jobs, applying for passport/driving license etc and to be honest i think My Cutie had a lot to do with that, she definitely inspired me to move on, i didnt go to Uni because i bottled it, then i see what My Cutie has done and the potential she has begun to fulfil and i felt inspired to fulfil my own expectations and potential.

I love you Cutie and i wish we could be more than friends but it would seem that it isn't yet meant to be!

Rant Over :-)

My Short And Long Term Goals

I recently moved jobs from Argos Direct to O2 Retentions and as part of the training we had a day called the "Four Minute Mile" which was designed to focus on ourselves and our goals and where we want to be and creating a plan to achieve the goals!

My Short Term Goals (3 Months)
1) Get my passport

2) Get my provisional driving license

3) Start back at the gym

4) Settle at O2

5) Go on holiday

My Long Term Goals

1) Pay off my loan

2) Pay off my credit card

3) Move out of my parents house

4) Progress in my career

5) Wife/Kids - Happiness

So there they are! My plan to stay focused :-)

As of today, the 14/04/07 i have achieved two of my short term goals, so far i have my provisional and have started back at the gym, although i'm guilty of not going back since last wednesday i think, i will though as i do like the gym! Also i have nearly finished applying for my passport, just need to fill one last bit out and write the cheque, £66! I'll have that posted out by monday :-)

Wish me luck with the rest!

New To The Whole Blogging Thing!

Firstly, I'd like to say hello, and welcome to my page of thoughts, feelings and rants!

This being me, losing my blogging virginity as such!

I'd like to thank Allye, my bestest friend in the whole wide world, (whom i probably don't tell that too as much as i should) for introducing me to blogger.com!

I might use this page frequently, i may not, it depends how i feel i guess! I know as a child i used to write all my thoughts and feelings down on a piece of paper and then screw it up and throw it away, i cant do that to my PC obviously but it may help in the same way!

Anyway... On we go :-)